Jedi Council: Behind the Scenes: Part Twenty-One*Posted by red_queen_303 on 2007.10.29 at 10:35
Current Location: Hell
Current Mood: crappy
Jedi Theater 3000
THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL
1. INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT
Han and Chewbacca are seated in the cockpit of the Falcon.
2. EXT. SPACE
The Falcon speeds across the screen. Two Star Destroyers
chase the Falcon and fire on her. Several of the laser
blasts connect with the shields.
3. INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT
The Falcon rocks as lasers hit their shields.
That's it I'm turning back.
Chewie growls at Han in reply.
I know your family's waiting.
Chewie growls again.
I know it's an important day.
Mace: Talk like a pirate day comes but once a year.
Chewie growls again at Han.
All right. We'll give it a try. I'll set
short coordinates - we won't jump far.
Han flips some switches on a control panel.
I'll get you back there in time, pal.
Chewie growls and leans over and pits his arm around Han
4. EXT. SPACE
A Star Destroyer is firing on the falcon.
5. INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON - COCKPIT
Our only hope now, is to outrun that
Imperial garbage scow, tho'. I'm going
Chewie growls yet again. Han smiles.
That's the spirit! You'll be celebrating
Life Day before you know it!
Depa: Either that or both of us will be celebrating Death Day.
Standby, here's where we say goodbye
to our unpleasant friends.
The Falcon makes the jump to hyperspace.
6. EXT. SPACE - STARFIELD
A graphic is displayed over the starfield left from the
Falcon jumping to lightspeed. It says: THE STAR WARS
The Star Wars Holiday Special.
Adi: Brought to you by Kelloggs.
Starring Mark Hamill as
Plo: A 1970s Ken doll.
A clip is shown of Luke in his flight uniform.
Harrison Ford as Han Solo.
A clip is shown of Han in the cockpit of the Falcon.
Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia.
Shaak: Stoned out of her head.
A clip is shown of Leia in her white dress from Star Wars.
with, Anthony Daniels as C-3PO.
A clip is shown of C-3PO.
Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca.
A clip is shown of Chewie.
R2-D2 as R2-D2.
A clip is shown of Artoo rolling around.
And, James Earl Jones as the voice of
Eeth: Oh my God! Darth Vader is in this?
A clip is shown of Vader walking down a corridor of the
Death Star with an Imperial Officer.
Introducing Chewbacca's family,
A clip is shown of Chewie's family altogether.
His wife, Malla.
A clip is shown of Malla who is around Chewbacca's height
and slightly heavier.
His father, Itchy.
Mace: You know they have medications for that.
A clip is shown of Itchy who is shorter than Chewie. He
has gray and white hair and a very bad under bite.
His son, Lumpy.
A clip is shown of Lumpy who is a small wookiee child.
With special guest stars, Beatrice
A clip of her is shown.
A clip of him is shown.
Shaak: Oh shiny!
A clip of her singing is shown.
The Jefferson Starship.
A clip of the band performing is shown.
Different clips of him is shown in the roles he plays.
And an animated Star Wars story
Plo: By Matt Groening.
A clip is shown from the cartoon of Boba Fett on some
The Star Wars Holiday Special.
The original graphic of THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL,
is brought back up.
7. EXT. WOOKIEE HOME - DAY
Outside shot of Chewbacca's family's home. It is a high
in the trees and looks like a cartoonish painting.
Yaddle: Meanwhile, at George of the Jungle's summer homeâ€¦
8. INT. WOOKIEE HOME - MAIN LIVING AREA
Malla is busy in the kitchen cleaning or cooking. Itchy is
sitting in a chair carving X-wings out of wood.
Lumpy comes down the steps "flying" one of the X-wings that
his grandfather has carved. He then proceeds to "fly" the
X-wing around Itchy's head. Lumpy makes spaceship noises.
Mace: Someone's running a body through a woodchipper.
Itchy growls at Lumpy in anger.
Plo: I seriously just peed my pants!
Lumpy makes more noises.
Ki-Adi-Mundi: Sounds like ET screaming because he got his finger caught in a paper shredder.
Malla motions for Lumpy to come over to her.
Adi: Time for your flea bath kid!
Malla makes a reluctant Lumpy leave his Grandfather
alone and to take out the garbage. On his way over to the
garbage can, Lumpy sees some cookies on the table and
picks one up.
Depa: Wookiee Cookies!
Malla sees this and makes him put it back.
She then hands him the garbage can he is to take out.
Eeth: Take this bucket of sauerkraut to your room!
Lumpy heads to take out the garbage and Malla goes back
into the kitchen.
9. EXT. WOOKIEE HOUSE - PORCH - DAY
Lumpy exits the door and sets the can next to it. He
looks through the railing to the cartoonish ground far
below. He then looks back into the house to see if anyone
is watching. Apparently, the coast is clear, so, he
climbs up on the railing.
Mace: Yes! Do it! Jump! Jump!
Lumpy walks along it like a tightrope walker.
Depa: We're supposed to want him to fall, right?
10. INT. WOOKIEE HOME - MAIN LIVING AREA
Malla walks over to Itchy and pats him on the shoulder.
Shaak: Do you realize that this movie has been on for almost seven minutes and there hasn't been a single word of Basic?
She then walks over to some shelves and gets a picture
frame down with a picture of Chewbacca in it.
Mace: I didn't know Wookiees used Polaroid cameras.
Adi: These are the most domesticated Wookiees I have ever seen. That one it wearing an apron for crying out loud!
Itchy walks over to her. They exchange some grunts and growls. Malla
goes back to the kitchen. Itchy gets a cartridge from a
shelf and looks around for Lumpy. Lumpy runs up to him.
They head over to a hologram table similar to the chess
board on the Falcon. Itchy puts the cartridge in and a
strange circus of holographic aliens in fluorescent colored costumes appear.
Plo: Please tell me this isn't happening!
Mace: This isn't happening.
Plo: Thank you.
A man in a green feathered outfit appears and spins around.
Eeth: Oh of all times for a gay pride parade!
More feathered people come out in bright outfits.
Depa: This is what happens when Big Bird's relatives inbreed.
Two feathered people come cartwheeling out together.
Adi: No one was impregnated during the making of this film.
The green feathered man becomes life-sized.
Oppo: I am in physical pain right now.
Lumpy watches (with a scary look on his face) as two of the feathered people juggle.
Shaak: Look at that expression on his face!
Plo: Wookiee hungry!
The circus does on.
Mace: For the love of GOD make it stop!
The music goes "du du du dat!" The little circus people sort of bow.
Once again, the music goes "du du du dat!" and the little circus people
sort of bow.
Eeth: They just did the same thing two times in a row! Now the stupid thing is malfunctioning!
Lumpy is very amused by this and claps at the end of the show.
Mace: That was supposed to make us sad, right?
Adi: No, it was supposed to make us crap our pants.
Plo: And it worked.
Malla makes Lumpy come over and dry the dishes when its
over. Lumpy whines.
Depa: He is such a brat! Spank him! Spank his butt bald!
Malla goes over to a computer console and pushes some
buttons on it.
Mace: Apparently MI-6 has a branch on Kashyyyk now.
Nonsense letter and number combinations
come up and then the message: YOU HAVE REACHED TRAFFIC
CONTROL is displayed.
Yaddle: Traffic Control on channel 96 with officer Paul.
Shaak: In Soviet Russia, traffic control has reached you!
XOXOXO appears on the screen.
Yoda: Hugs and kisses from traffic control!
*This is only the first little bit of the movie. More coming soon. The Star Wars Holiday Special is just too scary to watch in more then five minute increments.